Fading charm

Iphone6 is arrived, Google is planning to launch its next set of smart phones, HRD ministry is planning to start more IIT’s and IIM’s, ISRO successfully test Mars Orbit mission, Bollywood starts are preparing for more 100 cr movies; everything is happening at a rapid pace and only thing which I found stuck is my own blog.  Its like decades have passed since I wrote anything on my blog.  Am I too busy? Honestly no. Have I run out of the notions? I wish I could.  Then why this is happening?

The only answer is fading charm. When I started writing, I view everything with a unique vision and I always engaged myself in searching such things but as the time progresses, the things around me are fading charm. If you too observe the things, then you will also feel the same. As we are upgrading ourselves, the things around us are losing charm. If you don’t believe its true then just observe the activities on social media. Whenever, you saw some post related with nostalgic memories you will sense increased traffic while new and improved things aren’t face that much of attention. If you are having your first cell phone with you then just take out and keep it in your hands for 2 minutes and then you will realize how precious that cell phone is for you.  I am not saying new things are bad or previous things are better but I feel that nowadays we are less connected with the things around us compared to previous times.

Moreover, the next generation is also showing syndromes of the same and they care less about their own things. Sometimes, I wish I could live a life backwards to relive those moments again. I hope I get emotionally connected with the new things soon. 

NIGHT SHIVERS

Night shivers in the winter winds

No one wants her in their house

She is wandering alone

Looking for a shelter

Street dogs beset her

And she is sobbing near the street lamp

I opened my window

Asked her to come in

She refuses dejectedly

I tried to convince her

But she was persistent

As I asked for reason

She said you will made me prostitute

As you made other helpless females

I had no answer to this question

As I was the part of this world

She left me and said

If you want give shelter

Give it to a girl who is in need

I had stars, sky, and sometime moon

So, you my friend help them rather

Then helping me

And she lost in haze

I think over it and

Conclude that she was right.

DREAM

I saw a blur face in my dreams

With gloaming background and eyes dim

She came to me and surrender

I felt her breath on my shoulder

I was not in a state to say

And she went far away

I could not recognize her torment face

As she lost in the haze

From then, each night

Before closing the eye

I look down to sky

And pray to god

Please gave me that dream once more

And this time i will not open my eyes for sure….

Confession of a perplexed mind

We are not born to be perfect but we always want to become perfect.  With so many options to choose and with so many lucrative offers available most of us tend to swing between options and eventually ended up doing unworthy activity. I am also facing the same issue. I am not finding enough courage to take one decision and stick on to it. Whenever I came close to making a decision thoughts of failures start entering my brain and left me in perplexed state. Am I in need of psychologist or it happens with everyone? This question kept haunting me though I tried to avoid it but still it is in the back of my mind.

As all of you do not know about my background so I am giving a brief about me in here. I am management student looking to get a good opportunity to begin my professional career. Prior to that, I hold an engineering degree but I do not think it will help me in finding the suitable job. I developed an interest in finance and management in last few years but my interest is constantly challenged by my childhood dream of becoming a Bureaucrat. While I was doing engineering, I developed habit of penning down my emotions and learn several forms of Urdu poetry. I started 4-5 novels but eventually none is completed. I was working as a part-time writer but soon I fed up of it.  In the process of testing my hands on everything, I once tried my hands on becoming an entrepreneur and my IT service provider partnership firm was doing well until frictions amongst the partner put me out of the business. Now I am in a state where I am jack of all trade and master of none.

Whenever I make a move of concentrating on public service commission exams, I got scared as I think if I do not get a job now it will be difficult for me to get it in future. I am MBA fresher and after a year or so, I will be a one-year-old fresher, which makes job finding even more difficult. If I concentrate on finding the job, I want a job in MNC and I do not have any calls from any MNCs + I will not be able to study for PSC exams. I have 2 opportunities to start my career and both companies are start-ups. One company is of financial services while other is of IT services. I have experience in handling IT services (as I was running one), while I am having a bit of interest in financial services.  I hate to admit the fact that I am just becoming a jack of all trade and I do not want to be the one. 

Sometimes, when I see my predicament it literally made me cry. I am not all settled and there is no possibility of settling in near future.  I don’t know what to do and if you can help me out in suggesting anything or help me out in gathering courage to stick to one decision then please write to me at   - vishwasnyaik@gmail.com , your advice may become useful for me.  Thanks for giving the time hope I came out with this misery and soon write a post with solution.  Till then take care!

JOY OF WRITING

Writing your heart out is nothing but a satisfaction which every writer achieved. After entering into the professional writing world a writer may stop writing what he wants and instead of this he start writing what readers want. Eventually he lost interest in writing and it becomes a sheer work for him.  Those who keeps on stressing about ‘love what you do’ fails to solve this issue as they keep on stressing that it just a phase and the issue will sort out soon.   I was going through this phase for a long time and this irks me a lot.   I stop writing professional contents and start doing silly mistakes. Then I decide to take a break from writing and the break is still not over.  Though I am writing the contents but it is not matching my previous quality.

Sometimes, I feel ashamed when I saw my writing work as I consider it way lower than my standard.  I used to have my own way of expressing the thoughts and now I don’t have any.  I somehow manage to write but what about pleasure of writing? What about getting the satisfaction of penning down the emotions? I was actually not thinking about this stuff until this morning. Today when I was doing my daily internet ritual (scrolling my Facebook wall for no reason) and I found a post from one of my good friend (http://apparitionofmine.blogspot.in/2014/06/have-you-retired-from-blogging.html). She too writes well and she also stopped writing.  Her post really made me think that do I really retired from writing?

Well, statistics suggests I do but it’s not true.  I just need to start writing the things I want to write irrespective of what readers wants to read. Though readers are important to me but I know readers will enjoy reading the things which directly came from the heart. They will feel connected and probably understand my predicament.  I don’t know how long I will be able to do it but I would surely try it out.  I will also advice the same to my friends and to every writer who showed initial writing spark but fails to convert it into an eternal fire.  Hope no writer gets retired from writing before retiring from the life.

Thanks to Noopur and her friend for churning my brain and provoking me to write the post. God bless you! 

Be patient without procrastination

 It’s been month since I post anything on my blog. It’s not because I was super busy past days or some other obvious responses. I was waiting for the time to change so that I can decide the future course of action. My life was a mess and I don’t know how to fix it. Many of my friends suggested me that you need some break and everything will automatically fix.  Like an obedient patient I just did what my closed ones prescribed me.

Initially it was nice as I was getting plenty of free time but later it turned out to be disaster. I started questioning my abilities, I unconsciously developed a habit of saying no to everything which is not a cake walk and on top of that I started procrastination.  At 24 you are supposed to realize goals and make further plans to your future but I was not doing anything. Months have passed but agony continues.

 Few days back I wasn’t even able to figure out my potential and my goals. I was lost in the process of giving time and wasn’t able to find any way. Finally, I switched myself to old mode to figure out what was happening. I had a conversation with me late night which leads me to a temporary solution and soon after it; I start gaining my abilities to create plans.  Moreover, now I am able to figure out what exactly went wrong with ‘be patient theory’.  

 The key behind this theory is that you need to do the things which you love and you cannot stop doing it. If you loves to read or write continue doing it even if you are practicing patient theory. Once you stopped doing it, you will start feeling an empty circle around you and soon this circle will create a void in your brain. It will restrain you in doing anything and you will soon become a procrastinator.  You need continue doing the things you loved and start having a conversation with yourself. Nobody knows you better than you and hence always have a word with yourself.  

So, if you are also planning to test ‘be patient theory’ then keep these things in mind. Else you will end up in same state as mine. 

Insane resume builder

All of you must know someone who puts ‘getting the job’ on the first in his priority list. Well I too know someone who is insanely working to get a job. He is one of my classmates in MBA and he can do anything to get a job. In order to fulfill his dream of working in MNC companies he literally does some weird stuff.

I still recall the first lecture of personality development session where our mentor told us the importance of resume. Everyone in the classroom was pretending to listen but sumit (name not so cleverly changed by me) was the only person who was preparing notes.  He wrote few lines in capitals like “HAVE A CLEARLY DEFINED OBJECTIVES”, “KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS AND STRENGTHS.” For a moment I thought these lines are first time ever spoken by someone then sanity returns to me. Like a good classmate I asked him to stop the shit and he rejected by saying “tuje kya pata, agar pata hota to tu placed hota (you don’t know anything and if you would know this thing you would have been placed)”.

From that day onwards he started doing the activities to enrich his C.V again.  He started reading English literary classics (though he did not understand the language, nor do I), he started learning guitar (as madam used the “playing guitar” as an example of what should we write in the hobby section). One day madam has asked us to bring our resumes so that she can correct the mistakes.  She pointed various mistakes in one of my classmate’s CV though he was not even bothered about it. In his resume he wrote “captain of college cricket team and winner of university badminton tournaments”. Madam used his example to describe what should we write in extracurricular activities. Unfortunately, sumeet hated sports and hence he always kept safe distance from it.

Next morning I surprisingly found him on the cricket field consulting to one of my team members about cricket. I asked him why you are doing it. He again responded in usual manner “Bhai certificate resume me likhne ke kaam aayega (brother, certificate will enrich the resume)”. At that moment I realized that boss iski #conditionserioushai.

He is actively attending seminars and trying to read more and more books with regular cricket and guitar practices. Trust me his efforts are totally wasted as he is not doing anything efficiently. He cannot take high catches nor he is having good stroke timings and it gives intolerable pain when he strums his half un-tuned guitar (his description of un-tune guitar, as guitar strings are tight enough to produce the noise). 

I want to give him Cadbury five star but I know he would say “bhai, isase mere resume par kya affect padgega”. Let’s see when he ends his insane resume building strategy and start doing the things which he loves to do. I hope all his efforts will pay off and he would get a good job in MNC.