Sunday, 29 June 2014

Confession of a perplexed mind

We are not born to be perfect but we always want to become perfect.  With so many options to choose and with so many lucrative offers available most of us tend to swing between options and eventually ended up doing unworthy activity. I am also facing the same issue. I am not finding enough courage to take one decision and stick on to it. Whenever I came close to making a decision thoughts of failures start entering my brain and left me in perplexed state. Am I in need of psychologist or it happens with everyone? This question kept haunting me though I tried to avoid it but still it is in the back of my mind.

As all of you do not know about my background so I am giving a brief about me in here. I am management student looking to get a good opportunity to begin my professional career. Prior to that, I hold an engineering degree but I do not think it will help me in finding the suitable job. I developed an interest in finance and management in last few years but my interest is constantly challenged by my childhood dream of becoming a Bureaucrat. While I was doing engineering, I developed habit of penning down my emotions and learn several forms of Urdu poetry. I started 4-5 novels but eventually none is completed. I was working as a part-time writer but soon I fed up of it.  In the process of testing my hands on everything, I once tried my hands on becoming an entrepreneur and my IT service provider partnership firm was doing well until frictions amongst the partner put me out of the business. Now I am in a state where I am jack of all trade and master of none.

Whenever I make a move of concentrating on public service commission exams, I got scared as I think if I do not get a job now it will be difficult for me to get it in future. I am MBA fresher and after a year or so, I will be a one-year-old fresher, which makes job finding even more difficult. If I concentrate on finding the job, I want a job in MNC and I do not have any calls from any MNCs + I will not be able to study for PSC exams. I have 2 opportunities to start my career and both companies are start-ups. One company is of financial services while other is of IT services. I have experience in handling IT services (as I was running one), while I am having a bit of interest in financial services.  I hate to admit the fact that I am just becoming a jack of all trade and I do not want to be the one. 

Sometimes, when I see my predicament it literally made me cry. I am not all settled and there is no possibility of settling in near future.  I don’t know what to do and if you can help me out in suggesting anything or help me out in gathering courage to stick to one decision then please write to me at   - vishwasnyaik@gmail.com , your advice may become useful for me.  Thanks for giving the time hope I came out with this misery and soon write a post with solution.  Till then take care!

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